Recently has discovered that once you determine where you rank in people's lives....then it makes things much more simple. The playing field is level. The expectations of whether they will be there for you or not are identified. Whether you matter or not can be seen clearly by behaviors. And regardless of the fact if you'd truly be there for them doesn't really matter. Because basically you do not rank as truly important in their lives. Identifying this has been enlightening..........it allows one to see the truth, to be able to be honest about relationships and to know where to focus energy and efforts.
Part of me struggles with the fact that we can care about people who are in our lives really don't care about us. We can try to encourage them, try to be a part of their life, try to be caring and compassionate receiving none of those things in return. How do we handle those facts? How do we apply the realities to our life? Do we determine that life is too short to focus on those with whom you don't matter? Do we continue on being who we are regardless....knowing that we don't "rank"? Do we just continue life as usual? Or do we make changes to adjust our life to those realities, moving them to a place of less importance in ours?
I am not sure of the answer. Perhaps it's a trial and error sort of thing. Perhaps we continue on...Perhaps it doesn't matter. I don't know....perhaps I never will.